Strangers With Candy
Retardation: A Celebration, nontransmitted pilot, 1999
Written By: Stephen Colbert, Paul Dinello, Amy Sedaris, Mitch Rouse
History
In the 60s a 40 year old woman who looked 60plus took it upon herself to teach kids about the dangers of drugs, sex and anything else fun. Unlike other people telling kids what they should, Florrie Fisher had actually lived the nightmare or heroin addiction and prostitution. When a copy her 1970 motivational speech “A Trip Back” (see clip below) resurfaced it came to the attention of comedian Stephen Colbert and Paul Dinello. Call it an insult if you want but they saw a similarity between Florrie Fisher the ex junkie who and their friend Amy Sedaris. They rushed round with the tape and were instantly impressed by Amy’s impersonation of the character. Together they came up with the idea for the show where a reformed Florrie Fisher type returns to high school.
The show spoofs after school specials that warned of the dangers of drugs and more extreme episodes of ‘Saved By the Bell’, I think we all remember the episode where Jessee Spano got hooked on caffeine pills and the one where she went to Vegas to become a stripper.
Story
The show kicks off with Gerry waking up and telling us she is a 47 year old high school freshman. As her mum calls for her to hurry up and get ready for school Gerry confirms that in her “32 years as a teenage freshman she was a boozer, a user and loser”.
She arrives at school where she explains she is picking up her life exactly where she left. She crosses path with principal Blackman (yes he is black – this will give you a hint to the very un-PC nature of the show (his first name is Onyx).
So there you have it, the first minute of the show and you know exactly what you going to get. A high school comedy with 47 year old ex-junkie whore.
The first lesson of the day is history with Mr Noblet. Gerry has to read her report, where she descends into a tale of a drug fueled night in her past, hardly the report on Brazil she was suppose to write. As the class finishes Noblet asks to see Gerry about her locker made who the school suspects maybe retarded. He asks Gerry to keep on eye on her and to let him know if she Kimberly does anything retarded. But it comes with a warning, if Kimberly suspects she is being spied on she might “fly into a rage with the strength of an ape and remorse”. Gerry is not sure, her past life has taught her not to be a snitch.
Three minutes in and plot for the episode is established as well as the dilemma Gerry has to face. Does she listen to authority or protect her friend from it. Also a sub plot about the school mascot ‘the concrete donkey’ has been thrown out there for audience.
Over at the lockers Gerry confronts Kimberly, asks her about her brain. Other cryptic questions leave the perfectly normal Kimberly confused, this raises the suspicions for Gerry. Faced with the dilemma Gerry turns to her one true friend Shelly the Turtle in hopes of finding the answer.
In her after school job as a candy striper, Gerry happens upon two nurses having an argument. One is using the patients drugs while the other has been sent to spy on him and report back, a problem confounded by the fact the two nurses are friends.
Back home she talks to her dad who sits comatose in chair while Gerry ways up her options “Is it so bad to be retarded? Is it true they travel in packs and rule the night?” While she mulls this over her step brother comes in and jokes about Kimberly’s retardation, Gerry fires back with comment about the missing mascot and the big came. Before it can get ugly, Gerry’s comatose dad intervenes (don’t ask how, he just does).
Gerry’s problems just get worse when she has argument with her mum that results in Shelly escaping and getting run over by a truck.
Back at school Gerry overcome with grief goes to the library to learn more about retardation and she can spot in her friend. She takes the book on tape “Retardation: A Celebration” and listens to the wise advice Wilford Brimley. He quickly dispels myths about them “ruling the night” and while they might not have the strength of apes he advices “don’t lock eyes on them, they will go into berzerker mode, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming ‘No! No!’ but all they hear is ‘Who wants cake.’” With that lesson ends with the most important thing, “they’re just like you and me.”
Meanwhile in the teachers lounge Principal Blackman is working up an impressive lava in shower as he chats with Mr Noblett. Together they chat about Gerry and her ability to “pin the tale on the retard” and as Noblett joins Blackman in the shower they also discuss the missing mascot and crucial it is school moral.
Gerry armed with the knowledge that retards are “just like you and me” finds herself still debating the rights and wrongs of snitching on Kimberly. Faced with an angry principle Blackman who wants to hunt down Kimberly and use her ape like strength for a useful purpose, Gerry runs.
While Principle Blackman and Gerry’s family debate about where she could have run off to over a fondue, Gerry is actually at her job still battling with her conscience. When she confronted by a nurse seeking advice for a similar problem she has not trouble telling him to “snark, you’ll be saving him himself.” Suddenly it clicks Gerry realises that she has to snich on Kimberly for her own good.
Gerry returns home with the revelation that she has been “thinking like con” and “if you snitch in the clink you get a shiv in the shower.” She realises she is new person and states “Clearly Kimberly is retarded! If she wasn’t why would she be a suspect?” As everyone rushes out with lighted fondue forks to “bag the retard” Gerry tries to tell them she also had something to with the missing mascot, but no one is around to here it.
Finally Gerry wraps her week while getting her uterus scraped. The week saw her comatose dad get his pilot’s licence, she still clashes with her mum and Kimberly was caught and killed.
As the credits role everyone dances.
Conclusion
Like My Name is Earl the premise of the series is set up in a sequence shown at the top of every episode, this allows the story telling to quickly skip background and jump right into whatever message is going to be preached this week.
This particular episode is a little bit of a miss match, the turtle plot line adds nothing and the subplot of the missing donkey goes nowhere, although like that is the point. Ultimately it has been written with jokes at the forefront and set up that while Gerry may learn a lesson she will also learn it badly.
For networks the dream scenario for sitcoms is a premise which can generate a lot of plot lines and are not dependant on the order they are shown in. Over the three series there is very little in terms of plot or character development aside from refining what is already there. Gerry remains as clueless as ever and never seems to get close to graduating. Of course some characters go and other come in but the score group remain the same.
Each episode continues tackle sensitive subjects such blindness (a blind student wishes to prove he can play American football just as well as anyone else), performance enhancing drugs (Gerry and the track team take steroids to win the race). Career options (following a career test Gerry finds out her perfect career is Junkie Whore). Although the plots may seem a little out there, this is just the sort thing that American children were shown in school. Many of these films from they heyday of social education films can be seen for free in Prelinger Archive. (I recommend ‘Boys Beware’, ‘Are You Popular’ and ‘What To Do On A Date’
Retooling
While some pilots are made to be transmitted, this episode of Strangers with Candy was made to prove the concept and was never attended to air. The second first episode takes on a whole new story, although jokes and subplots from the pilot are rehashed in future episodes.
There was some minor recasting, namely Gerry’s step mum was replaced and redeveloped as woman who basically hates her step-daughter and more often tag teams with her son Derrick.
Gerry’s character remains the same, although looks wise, she does slightly improve (this trend seems to continue with each new series) she never manages to look the least bit attractive but she is slightly easier on the eye.
The obscure humour such as the shower room in the teacher’s lounge remains, as does Gerry’s comatose dad, even better the dance number that concludes the pilot is re-envisioned at the end of every new episode.
The Movie
After three series the show ended but then came the film produced David Letterman. Most of the original cast returned with high profile addition of Sarah Jessica Parker as the school guidance councilor (originally portrayed by Jeanine Garofalo in the TV series). This film floated around in limbo for while before getting a limited release in the states and never making it to the UK. This is a good thing because where the TV series was tightly written with risky humour and surrealism, the film is safe as houses and drags on for about an hour too long. I really wanted to like this film, but I don’t remember laughing once, so just avoid it and pick up the DVDs for series.
More Clips
Here are a few more clips from the show.
