Dr Sardonicus has been feeling very popular as he has had almost a 100 comments on his estimable blog. But something is a bit suspect. Why are Nike Trainers and Viagra complementing his errudition (Viagra well he is a bit of a stuck up dick)? This would appear to be a particularly irritating new form of spam. It looks like Sardonicus is being agreed with, when in fact it’s a sly chance to peddle their wears.

Well you naughty purveyors of adverts be warned here are the next few topics for Sardonicus.

1 Pope Benny should be made a saint for protecting priests from lasvicious choir boys.
2 Solve world hunger by reintroducing cannibalism
3 And worst of all, Gordon Brown deserves another pop at being primeminister.

There have some fun endorsing that lot.

Sardonicus has been delighted by TV recently. Expressionist theatre has returned to the goggle box. A strange play where 3 men stand on a stripped stage each furiously declaring they aren’t anything like the other 2. But at the same time desperately trying to be the other 2.

Of course I am referring to the leadership debates. And what an unflattering light they have cast upon the whole sorry electoral process. Brown grins like a paedophile watching the police walking up his garden path. David and Nick are the same person, would they like antimatter twins anihilate the universe if they got to close. And like a stopped up toilet when the Nora virus is about the political diarhea flows over into the press. The Sun hurls furious abuse at Clegg. At the last count I think they had him down as a Nazi, a plutocrat and Dutch. Only the third would appear to be true and perhaps the most forgivable? (c’mon Rupert that Vim thingy that fascist Dutch and you love him oh yes you do). But in the Guardian Polly Toynbee howls like a Sabine Woman on a date with Jack Tweedy (Sardonicus wants some smart arse points for that reference). That the Conservatives will make Sure Start centres only available to poor people. Oh how will the middle classes cope with out 2 hours of free child care from poorly educated salad dodgers? Cameron’s plan to put the money back into health visitors maybe his only truly good idea.

God Sardonicus is so bored. Who ever gets into power will butcher spending and raise taxes. But heaven forfend we might have a grown up discussion about it. Because we’ve become a nervous creeping population. We moan and complain at the thought we might have to get a slightly lesser car than we want, we might have to shock horror not go on a foreign holiday.

So you want some radical policies? Try these.

1 Arm all TV license inspectors. Shooting the kind of person who doesn’t pay TV license, has a TV license and argues with officials should make all sorts of savings.

2 Solve illegal immigration by digging another exit from the channel tunnel that comes out in Canada. That’ll teach them to be Canadian or something.

3 Bring in conscription for the over 70s. Well they haven’t got that much to live for with the pension scheme being screwed, fit them with martyrdom colostomy bags.

4 Bring in conscriptions for the under 12s. Avoiding getting killed in an idiotic foreign adventure is a far better test of ability than some overly simplified test.

Will add more when Sardonicus can be bothered.