Dear Sir Elton.

So should you perform in Israel? Well you’re going to hear some rather dubious arguments in favor of performing.
Israel is the only gay friendly in the Middle East. So what? It’s a liberal democracy it would be bizarre and shameful if it wasn’t. What next David Cameron slashing child benefit because we don’t practise child sacrifice in the UK?

And implying that because you belong to one persecuted minority you should identify automatically with all those who don’t actively persecute said minority. Is a bit patronising to say the least.

Next up Israel is the only democracy in the Middle East. Well yes, but that’s a double edged sword. Liberal democracies with the rule of law are expected to abide by their own laws and the international bodies they belong to. If Israel is a democracy that continually breaks it’s own laws then it’s a bit pointless. Kind of akin to weeping of Watership Down whilst dynamiting rabbit burrows, or beating one’s spouse with a copy of The Female Eunuch.

But I still think you should play in Israel. Why you may ask?

Israel really is a democracy, with freedom of speech. Israel doesn’t need to be ignored nor should it’s mistake be endorsed.

Play your concerts but criticise, criticise fiercely. A satirical version of Rocketman, Yellow Brick road to failed peace plan, or the Zion Kingdom?
Ask to see the wall, the camps and the checkpoints. If there is one massive diference between Israel and South Africa it’s that Israel really does have freedom of speech. It means it’s citizens truly are responsible for the decisions of it’s governments.

Second reason. The people opposing your tour do seem to have lost some perspective. They concentrate on Israel because a liberal, democracy with freedom of travel is vulnerable. Make their lives bitter enough and their young people will leave or suffer.

This is perverse to the point of madness. Iran where prodemocracy supporters are shot in the street and the rebelious, gay or just free willed face the most horrendous punishments. These countries are left alone, because why bother? Their citizens are to scared or endangered by the state to make a fuss. A vote for liberalism and freedom from opression becomes an endorsment for some of the harshest regimes in the world.

One last point. You will hear no doubt much of the homophobia of the Palestinian government. Well it’s very real, but it’s the sad result of how all opressed people will eventually turn in on themselves. The worst bullys are always those who were bullied themselves. Don’t view this as a reason not to support them. Rather take the view that this may well disapear when the opressed on all sides no longer feel put upon.

Sardonicus has now voted, and if you haven’t – go out and vote. What are you? Fascists or Greens or something?
 Anyway, in case you were thinking of voting for David “Call me Lucifer” Cameron here are 10 reasons not to.
Cameron is ALLEGED to have.
1 Almost used a campaign poster of him hugging a man with Downes Syndrome and a pensioner. With the tag line “I’ll take care of them.” He is is winking, and there are 2 chimneys billowing smoke behind him.
2 Planned to sell the BBC to international pornographer Larry Flynt. BBC 1 and BBC2 will be renamed BBC tits and BBC bums. Radio 4 will be renamed Radio Sodomy (though this has been planned some years ago).
3 Refuses to read the Daily Mail. He reads the Grauniad as he loves bad spelling and grammar.
4 Has kicked more dogs on his campaign trail than any politician since Gladstone. If made Prime Minister he is planning to taunt the Queen’s corgis by flicking peanuts at them.
5 Is so evil Pope Benedict’s visit this year is to advise the Chief Rabbi and Archbishop of Cantebury on how to carry out an exorcism on 10 Downing Street if he gets in.
6 Has hired Uri Geller as a psychic mercenary to make Gordon smile like a sex offender and tell rubbish jokes.
7 Has built Boris Johnson in a secret lab in Eton. He is planning to clone buffoonish mayors for every town in England.
8 Is planning to tax wanking, farting and nose picking.
9 Will make hetrosexuals pay a none-gay license every year costing £500, or be forced to be gay.
10 Is a posh cock planning to use England’s worst recession as an excuse to give massive tax breaks to his rich chums and open up the whole welfare state, NHS etc etc to massive investment by said rich friends. Making himself the pimp for England to super the rich.

So with the election tomorrow Dr Sardonicus is finally going to throw in his tuppence worth. And it is bluntly hold your nose and vote Labor or hold back your laughter and vote Liberal. But what ever you do hold onto your common sense and don’t vote Conservative. David Camerons’s campign has crept towards the electorate like Arnold Shwarzenegger at the end of Terminator. Each blow revealing more and more of the monster underneath. Who ever is in power is going to have riase taxes and slash spending, that’s life. But only one party seems to view this as a gleeful chance for social engineering.

If the BBC has the license fee redivided it won’t come back and a shining institution will not return. Further Sardonicus would like to point out the following .

1 Any party who claims they can save money by predominantly cutting waste is lying. Ok lets say your boss cut your wages by 30% and suggested you could do it by effincey cuts. Could you really slash your loo roll costs by buying more soap? Socks by 50% if you hopped every where? Pornography costs by buying a mirror, blond wig and a bikini stuffed with cotton wool? There is waste in everything it’s life, we’re not robots yet (maybe IDS?)

2 Big society. Means fuck off and do it yourself. The next time some one offers Sardonicus a Big Issue he will yell Big Society back! Investing in communities is an expensive business not a cheapo save. Albiet big society could be a wonderous new insult.

3 Just who are in the conservatives? A rag bag of fundamentalist christians (trying to save us from gayness, can’t gays try and save us from christinaity?) eurosceptics who feel common cause with resurgent Nazis and a very large number of people who feel the less you earnt the more tax you should pay.
(Sardonicus looks forward to hearing “spare some change for my massive tax hike).

There’s more but Sardonicus is busy. So get off your arses and vote. And young people why do all parties suck upto the old? It’s because they vote and you don’t you bunch of big societies.

C’mon vote Cameron out. It’ll be fun to see the metrosexual git had to shag his wife (something I suspect eh doesn’t enjoy..)and didn’t even get into power.