You watch CSI like it’s a DIY program.
You’re disapointed by nudey porn becuase the skins still on.
The voice telling you to kill some one is only drowned out by
The voice telling you to kill everyone.
You’ve relaid your patio 5 times and isn’t it time for a 6th?
You’re a HGV driver.
When Sir Alan points at you on telly you know he’s telling you to do bad things.
You smile when you see hitchhikers.
You’ve got a porn video with the snare scene from Watership Down and the bit where Bambi’s mum gets offed.
You’re dog won’t fucking shut up! It may be the voice of God but still you haven’t slept in a week.
You’ve been kicked out of all the Hannibal Lecter films for shouting pussy and aamateur at the screen.

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