This week Dr Sardonicus hs mostly been writing satirical bon mots. Why you may ask? It’s bon mot season! BBC’s Newsjack and the new run for News Revue means the sour fruit of the satirical Bon mot blossoms in the bitter tree of wit. Falling like so many vicious conkers on the heads of health and safety obsessed head teachers.
So Dr Sardonicus in his infinite generosity will be sharing the left overs from his dustbin of humour.
France Bans the Burqa.
They’ve got the right idea. Racist? Well how else are they going to protect them selves from ninja attack?
The recession is over?
So the recession that was caused by banks trading things that didn’t exist for money that didn’t exist either is over? Can we apply this to wars? I rather like the idea of Osama Bin Laden and Barrack swopping big lists of made up soldiers with who ever gets the most made up casualties winning.
BBC swops that MacIntyre thing who looks like a poorly evolved chimp for Jonathon Ross. And pays only a 12th for him. Good pleased to see the BBC is shopping at Aldi’s like the rest of us. Now lets just swop Dancing on Ice for fighting on fortified wine and How do you solve a problem like Maria for; How do you solve a problem like John Barrowman, won’t just sod off I mean really how much telly can one man be in?
Of course an easier solution would be for the BBC to simply complete their plan to become the 24/7 David Mitchell channel. David is so avuncular and nice who could object to watching his nicely smiling face all day? Men want to be with him women want to be with him, both want to be him.
Infact Dr Sardonicus can see a Skynet style future where Dave’s smiling face smiles down from giant screens encouraging us to “You know cooperate with the government death bots that are slaughtering humanity, if that’s alright.”
Said Deathbots probably looking like Robert Webb their evil joints sighing with a sound that sounds like “Why does every one like him I’m the sexy one and I write half the stuff.”
So there you go. And remember satirists are never wrong only misunderstood.
