Sardonicus has been watching telly and would like to share what an odd experience it is these days. Srdonicus will not bore you with all the boring guff about how in the good old days there was only one channel, Hitler used to nick our tiles and the Primeminister was a dinosaur.
Aah the good old days. No more how with endless channels TV is a viewing buffet of endless experiences. To thos who don’t have digital TV Sardonicus isn’t sure whether to fear or pity you. You poor, poor souls who will never know the joy a 3 day Sponge Bob Square Pants marathon.
Of late Sardonicus has been watching.
`1 Steven Segal crime fighter. Steven Segal star of many, many fine martial arts movies is a volunteer police chief in a small town, for real. He patrols the street in a bullet proof vest previously owned by Ariel Sharon or Idi Amin (he has got a little chunky) . Accompanied by his elite team of 4 police officers who are even fatter and older than him. I should add that they patrol quite slowly. They stop see a black person who stands and gawps at “4 old blokes uniform, a camera crew and no crap that’s Steven Segal he was in Death Touch wasn’t he, man he’s let himself go” Before standing politely still and allow himself to be restrained.
Sardonicus hopes to watch this show in a few years time when Steven Segal will be chasing down drug dealers in a Variety Club Sunshine bus. Perhaps he could get into a vicious duel with Chuck Norris and his OAP commandos on who gets to feed the ducks at the pond?
2 Made. This is a weird show, it’s a wrong show, it’s a nice show on MTV. Yes MTV home of my Sweet 16 (fat teens get a BMW, a $2,000,000 party and scream at every one because they’re stupidlyspoiled, a show probably shown in North Korea to disaude defectors). Reality shows that are like porn films filmed by Leni Riefenshtal (teens with no clothes and perfect bodies crying because they’re all so racist). But here’s a show where an ordinary teen with an ordinary problem; I want to be a gymnast, I’m a frump who wants to go to the prom, I want to get a girlfriend.
Then an expert helper type person mentor turns up (a famous model, sports star etc). Then with tough love and sympathy help said kid to win their ambition, over a month of hard work they usually they succede winning the approval of said kid’s mates. And these kids are so ordinary and so nice (no one cares if they’re gay or goths or what ever.)
This is a bizarre as Nick Griffin turning up in Haiti with Nick Davidson in a pedalo to take some unfortunates to live in England. First time I watched it I thought my telly was broken.
More Sardonicus TV tips later. Actually Made hasn’t been made in a while Sardonicus hopes they didn’t have some kid who wanted to buy a trenchcoat and teach the pigs a lesson (possibly with guest mentor Ted Bundy?)
