Advice on my first blog from my comedy mentor was that it was marginally too long for the attention spans of people who read these things (him). So I will reduce the length but keep the same format.
Writing story is that I have cleared a massive space in my room for a desk so can now start. Properly. Need a desk first.
My other story describes how a waitress can ruin a perfect day. I was recently asked to deliver an inspirational speech at the annual prize giving at my old school. I did. That same evening I was singing in an inspirational gig with an amazing band to raise money for an amazing cause. Therefore, when I arrived at the pub after my inspirational speech and before my amazing gig, I was feeling smug with the conclusion that I was both inspirational and amazing. I ordered my well deserved pint and a plate of fish and chips and sat smugly on a stool by the window. It was all going swimmingly. The beautiful waitress then approached with the cutlery. I offered her a genial smile as she approached (I think it is only fair to treat everyone as if they are inspirational and amazing until you learn otherwise). She was laden with two sets of knives and forks and tried to put them both down saying ‘Are you waiting for someone?’. ‘No, no, it’s just me’ I said, smiling, still smug. ‘Oh’ she said. ‘Oh dear’. And then she stared. At me. For ages. ‘This time’ I clarify. ‘What?’. ‘It’s only me this time – I do come with people’. ‘Right’. ‘Sometimes, I do’. She left without uttering another word. And I was left, no longer feeling smugly amazing and inspirational, but disappointed in the realisation that only a loser dines alone (and is even more of a loser when trying to explain that she does, in fact, have friends, some, who might sometimes go to the pub with her, always, I mean she’s rarely alone, in fact she cherishes that time, so don’t ruin it. It’s fine. OK?).
