Monday
AM. Still wallowing in the post Christmas Day chocolate mire; can barely see my toes but there is a backlog of goodies to get through so must remain strong. At least it’s early days yet so there are still some of the ‘nice’ sweets left, give it a few days and we’ll be down to all the ‘ick’ ones, like the feckin’ Coconut Eclairs, that’s when it really gets depressing.
PM. Have discovered a new player in the Christmas choccie stakes; Thornton’s Classic Collection. I got a box as a pressie from one of my nephews. Inspired! The fudge is a revelation. Nice to know that even a hardened chocoholic like me can still be pleasantly surprised.
Tuesday
AM. Still deliberating over my relationship with Owen. It’s been great but bound to go tits up sooner or later so may as well call it a day. Got a v expensive necklace from him for Christmas not to mention an Extra Large Cadbury’s Selection Box, so don’t think it would be fair to end things before the Curly Wurly has even been scoffed. Will see it through till New Year’s.
PM. Owen has just invited me to a New Year’s Eve masked ball; sounds very exciting but for those in the know, the whole masked ball thing is a big scam really. It immediately conjures up images of accidental no strings sex with an unknown masked stranger in the cloak room; when in actual fact you arrive to find a crappy mask on your place setting which everyone wears for about 10 minutes until they get too bored and/or pissed to bother anymore. So by the time you figure out that you have bugger all chance of mind-blowing anonymous sex you will have already spent the 200 quid on a sub-standard three course meal and a pissy glass of complimentary champagne.
Wednesday
AM. Compulsory ‘show-your-face-in-work-even-though-you’re-not-going-to-do-a-tap’ day. I mean really, to all the bosses of Ireland, who are we kidding? You know that feck all will get done until at least the 6th of Jan so why not just go with it?
PM. Bore, bored, boring. I could be at home watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for God’s sake!
Thursday
AM. Suppose I better compile some New Year resolutions. 1) Stop procrastinating. 2) Emmm… ah, feck it, will finish this list tomorrow.
PM. Last night of 2009 and of my relationship with Owen. Time to get all melancholy over a Snowball.
Friday
AM. OMG! I have been proposed to! I cannot believe it. Just after midnight Owen got down on one knee! At least I think it was Owen, as he was wearing a stupid mask. I realise now why men propose with diamond rings, it’s because when you see a gigantic diamond being shoved into your face the only word that comes into your head naturally is ‘YES!’ – it’s like being offered a Hot Fudge Sundae with whipped cream. I am going to be Mrs…, Mrs….. emmm.
PM. Just checked, it’s Sidebottom. I will be Emily Sidebottom. Think I might hang on to my maiden name.
