Andy Flood presented his script ‘Strictly Business’ this week and by all accounts it was a very successful read. The actors threw their all in and the writers who normally sit with an expression akin to ‘Make me laugh, bitch’ actually did laugh. At the end of the night it was credited as one of the best scripts we have ever had read, but Tristan says that every week… he also says we can’t use brand names and that we will never get the rights to have “We are the Champions” as our opening theme tune.
The Good: First a foremost it was a funny script and the laughs came more often from character rather than ‘set-ups and punchlines’. Everyone raved about a scene set in a post credit crunch bank while the bold frankness of a young Tory businessman and a no nonsense teacher provided much merriment. The story was simple, so no one was confused over who was who and what was what.
The bad: This mostly comes from my point of view because I am just more opinionated and hardened from all these readings, but hopefully I am fair. While it was great that the comedy did come character, most laughs came from the 2 one dimensional stereotypes mentioned above. the other 2 character were a little flat in comparison as they were just bullied by these other oppressive oafs. We want to see more of the characters’ wants and needs and why they are with the people they are with. There was a virtually unanimous opinion that the opening was too slow and that we needed to get right into the action (moving the bank scene to the top would not only land a solid comic punch, but also set up the story). Stage directions were too frequent, if one character tells another character to “sit down” I will infer that the character will sit down, I don’t need it in a stage direction. Heavy stage directions in a reading can really kill pace and while this is certainly not the worst offender I have, it certainly didn’t help when actors tried to jump in before a stage direction was read. In the end it was light and enjoyable, but lacked real threat and tension, but there is defiantly an idea there that will be teased out in future drafts.
Finally: Andy burnt through a notebook and 2 pens with notes and while this might sound bad, this is actually good. I find that people have more to say about scripts liked than scripts they hated. With a mercifully small cast (4 main characters and 2 guest spots) this would be easy to film.
Good night.
Tags: bad, critic, good, london comedy writers, meeting, review, Script
